I ran into a friend the other day who said he was getting married later this year. I wasn’t surprised that they were getting married, but I felt an instant “punch to the gut” that they hadn’t asked me to officiate. This seems like a logical feeling; after all, I am a minister, and I’ve known this couple, since they became a couple.
But what was disturbing to me, was how illogical and downright stupid the feeling of being excluded was, since I’ve made it pretty clear (over the past couple of years) that I do not officiate weddings anymore. But that didn’t matter to my ego. It wants to be invited to everything (even when it doesn’t want to go), wants to be included, and gets its feelings hurt when it isn’t.
I drove away and thought, “You can look at this situation a couple of ways: That they didn’t want you, or that they were honoring your limits. One way you are going to feel good, the other, you are going to feel bad. Which will it be?” Either way, I was the one telling myself the story.
It is always my mind, my thoughts, that make a situation into heaven or hell.
Back to getting my feelings hurt…. What an odd statement that is, and I am not sure that I ever really looked at it before writing this. Getting my feelings hurt.
If my “feelings” are based on petty, small, exclusive, jealous, or negative thought, why not “hurt” them a little? Maybe that will shake them up. Like saying, “Hey, grow up you little pain in the butt. You are bigger than that!”…and this thought does make me laugh!
“To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.” Francoise Sagan