My mother has always been a giving person, especially with her children. lf one of us said to her, “I like the sweater you’re wearing mom”, she’d inevitably respond, “Do you want it?” or she’d just go change and come out wearing another top, while handing the one we’d admired to us. We’ve gotten into the habit of complimenting her by saying, “I like that ….., but I don’t want it!”
One day I was telling a friend about this, and she reacted like it was a remarkable thing. She then said, “My mother has rarely given me anything, even when I was in desperate need.” I believed her, but found it hard to comprehend, since I had taken this aspect of my own mother completely for granted. I had little appreciation of my mother, and often found myself starting sentences with, “Yes, she’s generous but……”, completely sweeping this gift under the rug of what I perceived to be her faults.
I treated myself the same way. I found it nearly impossible to appreciate any aspect of my being, seeing myself to be fundamentally flawed, and even when I did something that others might have admired, I would think, “If they really knew me…” I even suspected that my own good actions were prompted by less than pure motives. Everything that I did was tainted with the belief that I wasn’t a fundamentally loveable person.
My mother is still generous, but because I have changed, I now find her giving-nature to be a delight, not only when I am the recipient of her generosity, but in what she gives to others. Several days ago, she came back home (after a month in rehab) and within hours she was pulling out bags of things that she wanted to give away. One was a bag from Bon Ton full of Calvin Klein socks. A few days before her accident, she was shopping and there was a huge sale on socks, so she bought every pair figuring that she knew plenty of people who would appreciate them.
So in honor of my mother coming home (and the Red Sox winning the world series last night….I’m joking here, I don’t follow baseball, but it just fit so perfectly) I am giving away a package of the socks, these are shades of pink and white, not red.
To enter this give-away, just comment with one quality that you love about your yourself. I know this will be hard for some people. At times in my life, it would have been very difficult for me, and even if I’d come up with something, it would’ve felt like a lie. But we all have aspects of ourselves that are magnificent. If I cannot see these qualities in myself, it is impossible to recognize them in others.
I find that when I truly look for the good in myself, I cannot help seeing it others as well.
“I don’t recall ever being encouraged to cherish myself, in fact, it would never even have occurred to me to do so. It’s commonly thought of as being selfish. But my NDE (Near-death Experience) allowed me to realize that this was the key to my healing.
In the tapestry of life, we’re all connected. Each one of us is a gift to those around us, helping each other be who we are, weaving a perfect picture together. When I was in the NDE state, it all became so clear to me because I understood that to be me is to be love. This is the lesson that saved my life.” pp 138-139, Dying To Be Me: My Journey From Cancer , To Near Death, To True Healing, by Anita Moorjani.
*This is a 3-pack of Calvin Klein cotton blend socks (between ankle and knee-length) in shades of pink and white. One size fits all. I will pick a random winner on Wed. November 6th (my son Tom’s 36th birthday!) and again, to enter, just comment with one thing that you love about yourself…and even if you don’t believe it, I do.