This morning I was thinking about the movies that I watched with my family when I was a little girl. Every year we waited for them to be shown, searching the TV Guide for our favorites, and then sitting down together with big bowls of popcorn, and for 1/2 hour, or an hour, time was suspended. We were a happy family. All was well for that little snippet of time. I loved Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and my favorite part was when the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys were rescued by Santa. There is something about the unwanted and unloved beings of this world, finding their true homes, that always brings me to tears.
At times in our lives, many of us have felt like those toys: misfits, lonely, forgotten, unwanted, unable to find our home, waiting for someone to recognize us, waiting to be seen for who we really are. I know that I’ve felt this way, felt like I was different from other people who seemed to have it figured out, my inner voice saying, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I find my true place in this world?”
And sometimes that voice still plays in my head, even after all of the spiritual work that I’ve done. Even though I know that my true home is within my own heart. Sometimes I forget and I long for Home. I long for that feeling, that I’ve had moments of knowing and being in, and I want it all the time. But that doesn’t seem to be what this life experience is about. So what to do?
I look for it.
When I read a story about an unwanted animal finding a home, I see Home. When I hear about someone adopting a child with multiple problems, I see Home. When I witness an act of kindness, I see Home. When I receive an email or a note telling me that I matter, and that the work that I do matters, I see Home. When I take the time to tell someone else that they matter to me, I see Home. When I see someone truly laugh, I see Home. When I recall happy memories, I see Home.
It’s all around me……It’s in the man who lets me get in front of him in line at the grocery store, it’s in the touch on my shoulder of a friend passing by, it’s in the kitties sleeping on the couch, it’s in the mother comforting her crying child who just felt down. It’s all around me….if I look for it. Home is here. Home is Now.
“God is at home, it is we who have gone out for a walk.” Meister Eckhart