See!… I’m Home!

Noah and Bodhi looking at the Island of Misfit Toys  king Moonrace and the spotted elephant
Noah and Bodhi looking at the Island of Misfit Toys figurines that I bring out every year: King Moonracer and his helper, the spotted elephant

This morning I was thinking about the movies that I watched with my family when I was a little girl. Every year we waited for them to be shown, searching the TV Guide for our favorites, and then sitting down together with big bowls of popcorn, and for 1/2 hour, or an hour, time was suspended. We were a happy family. All was well for that little snippet of time. I loved Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and my favorite part was when the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys were rescued by Santa. There is something about the unwanted and unloved beings of this world, finding their true homes, that always brings me to tears.

At times in our lives, many of us have felt like those toys: misfits, lonely, forgotten, unwanted, unable to find our home, waiting for someone to recognize us, waiting to be seen for who we really are. I know that I’ve felt this way, felt like I was different from other people who seemed to have it figured out, my inner voice saying, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I find my true place in this world?”

And sometimes that voice still plays in my head, even after all of the spiritual work that I’ve done. Even though I know that my true home is within my own heart. Sometimes I forget and I long for Home. I long for that feeling, that I’ve had moments of knowing and being in, and I want it all the time. But that doesn’t seem to be what this life experience is about. So what to do?

I look for it.

When I read a story about an unwanted animal finding a home, I see Home. When I hear about someone adopting a child with multiple problems, I see Home. When I witness an act of kindness, I see Home. When I receive an email or a note telling me that I matter, and that the work that I do matters, I see Home. When I take the time to tell someone else that they matter to me, I see Home. When I see someone truly laugh, I see Home. When I recall happy memories, I see Home.

It’s all around me……It’s in the man who lets me get in front of him in line at the grocery store, it’s in the touch on my shoulder of a friend passing by, it’s in the kitties sleeping on the couch, it’s in the mother comforting her crying child who just felt down. It’s all around me….if I look for it. Home is here. Home is Now.

God is at home, it is we who have gone out for a walk.” Meister Eckhart


32 thoughts on “See!… I’m Home!”

  1. …and when I read and relax into your words each morning and my inner flame glows brighter, I see Home. XOXO

    1. What a lovely reply, Kathye! I see home right now in front of me, my two dogs resting in front of the fire, my cup of cocoa by my side, the tree lit, and a candle glowing for.all of us who gather here, finding rest and good cheer in Mary’s message for today.

      1. Ahhhh Susan, sounds so lovely and cozy…wish I could just drop by and join you…but so grateful that we can do it here…

      2. Right now I’m at the Apple store – just read that we are expecting lots of snow later tonight. I’m going to go home and make my hot chocolate; ignite my fireplace (not regular logs), and hope that my three cats join me on one of our blankets. Great idea Susan. Thanks.

    2. Thank you Kathye..what a wonderfully peaceful thought. Sending you blessings of happiness and light today, Mary

  2. How sweet!
    how gentle!
    How true!
    Thank you Mary for sharing and reminding us of the true spirit of the season.
    Love from Fran

    1. I love your words Fran. I never think of myself as sweet or gentle, so your thoughts are very dear to me. Love and blessings of inner peace and warmth this cold winter day.

  3. Yikes Mary, I have been sitting here for the last few days mulling over my purpose now that my parent’s are now gone, daughter gone now & well. I feel like an orphan launched into space. Applying the knowledge of the years IS that tricky part now….soooooo much to let go of. The path to home has always been a hard one for me…your list is most helpful….the small everyday kindnesses…i will start with that….many blessings to you in this holiday season….

    1. I can feel the sense of new beginnings in your words Janette, and what I am starting to know is that not knowing what to do next is the start of widsom! Much love to you as your path unfolds before you

  4. Mary, thank you for describing your feelings ” even after all the spiritual work” which leaves me thinking that mine is not such a different experience.. Struggling with loss, feelings of aloneness , disappointments is hard on so many of us ..
    … But truly , I am ” home” with my cup of coffee, my friendships, my snowy mountain town .. And each morning now I light three candles in the dark , sit with my dog River beside me, reading your posts, and the thoughtful words of others who are searching here.. So I am thankful for your words indeed. Your tree is beautiful .

    1. Thank you Bobbie…you know, Jack and I have both felt like this is the best tree we’ve ever had (and it is the most fragrant). I too find home in those quiet moments with my cup of coffee and animals. Sending you a warm hug from one snowy part of the country to another!

  5. Oh Mary, I’m brought to tears; even now “I am home when I read “The Velveteen Rabbit.” I too find the road home through WFF. Blessings to all

  6. Well once again, you made me cry. . .yes, home is held in our hearts. . .so close and yet so hard to find at times. . .thank you for your big loving heart and all you do and give. . .love, Veronica

    1. Those warm, connected, heart-tears are the best! Thank you so much Veronica…sending you thoughts of goodness, love and inner peace today

  7. Mary MANY MANY THANKS. Island of misfit toys! A good fabric streaming topic for MARIA! Mary I know I have to get professional help soon. Have an appt Jan 8. I can go to the ER before then if necessary.

  8. Let me add my voice to those who say that what you do matters! Far more of us then you can possibly realize.
    Many thanks, Mary

    1. How grateful I am for your words. Sending you thoughts of peace on this beautifully snowy afternoon

  9. Oh, Mary, this touched me on levels too numerous to absorb at one time. You have given us a description of ‘Home’ that each one of us is able to find within herself…each meaning very different things, but there to get hold of. Evoking the simple word ‘home’ can now bring us instantaneously to the warmth and security we so relish, by tapping into our personal wellsprings.

    Thanks you, Mary, and thanks to so many wonderful comments from our WFF. Everyone here brings gifts to the table.

    1. Thank you so much Suzanne…your words warm my heart. Sending you thoughts of happiness and peace today

    1. Just like you Diana!! Thinking of you this cold morning and sending you a warm and loving hug

  10. Hi Mary,

    A superb, perceptive, healing, constructive and forward looking post. One of your finest, I think.


    1. Thank you so much Barbara…wow do I appreciate your words this morning,

  11. Mary – I love what you have written, and it reminded me of a passage from “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. Please forgive me if this quote is a bit long, but I think that you all will enjoy it:

    …“The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

    “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

    “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

    “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

    “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.”

    “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

    “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

    1. This is so, so beautiful! I’m really glad that you posted this…just perfect. thank you Victoria

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