Many years ago, a woman whom I’d had a fairly on and off again friendship with, sent me a letter outlining, in no uncertain terms, things about me that she disliked. My first reaction wasn’t, “Oh thank you so much for helping me to see myself more clearly”, but I didn’t shut down either, and even though I wasn’t jumping for joy, I could see her points. I was critical and judgemental…..BUT she was too! She was always a willing participant in our little chats that often involved the character assassination of someone we both knew.
But still, her letter changed me. I saw the truth in it and I thanked her, but she ended up out of my life anyway. The tone of her letter had been basically, “I’m fed up and don’t want anything more to do with you, but before I leave, I’m going to tell you the reasons why I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore.”
Her letter still changed me, and I began to look at the aspects of myself that she had trouble with. At times my mind would scream, “How dare she say these things to me when she is just as bad or worse than I am?!” But somehow, I kept going. I kept working on myself and I began to change.
Years later, I ran into this woman and I was shocked. She looked like she’d aged 20 years (and it had only been about 5). Her face appeared to be a mass of tight, dark, lines and she was having trouble walking. I had hoped to talk with her but she wasn’t interested in a conversation, and as I watched her limp away, I wondered what we ever had to talk about.
All those years earlier, when she was seeing such negativity in me (which was the truth), she had no revelation that we only see what we are. She wasn’t able to recognize herself in me, so she felt if she could cut me out, she’d be happier. But she wasn’t happier. She hadn’t heard her own words of advice, so she was locked in a prison with the thought, “I am fine. Everyone around me is messed up.”
I still do not like criticism. I don’t like it when I think that someone doesn’t like me. But I learn from everyone……especially when I have a strong reaction to them. So often we miss the opportunity to change by becoming insulted or thinking that, “If I am this awful or wrong, then they must be right or on-track” and it doesn’t mean that at all. The woman who sent me the scathing letter had almost the identical issues to my own. The only difference was, she didn’t benefit from her own insights. But I did.
The world is for us, for our growth, for our expansion. This is a new year. We can leave the past behind…not run away from it, or wish it never happened, but know that all was, and still is, happening for us. I see myself in everything around me. It is my prayer for this new year that I not only see myself clearer, but that I embrace all the images, love them, and allow them to transform me.
“Man moves in a world that is nothing more or less than his consciousness objectified. Not knowing this, he wars against his reflections …while keeping alive the images (which he then wars against). Stop trying to change the world (others) since it (they are) only the mirror. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conception of yourself. The reflection will then be satisfactory“. From, Your Faith is Your Fortune, by Neville Goddard