Last year, an opportunity was presented to me that I was over-the-top excited about. It wasn’t something that I had been looking for, but I thought it was right for me, so I said yes. A few days before it was going to begin, the people (who had initially contacted me) told me that they had changed their minds about working with me. As they explained their reasoning, I tried to keep my composure, but I was so upset, I felt like I’d left my body. I drove away wanting to scream and cry. I also felt embarrassed that someone else was chosen over me.
But even as I drove away, I was aware that I needed to get into a better state mentally or I wouldn’t be able to stand myself. For the first few weeks, I really could not think about the situation (except to hope that they would call and say they’d made a terrible mistake and that they wanted me after all) without getting angry. They didn’t call. I was moving toward inner peace but the temptation to be angry at them was still there.
Over the weeks that followed, something big and dramatic happened in my family, and I realized that had I taken this position, I wouldn’t have been around, and wouldn’t have had the opportunity to heal a very old, and very deep, wound that I had covered up for many years. I could clearly see that Spirit was working (behind the scenes, as usual) to bring me to the best place, and I was filled with gratitude that this previous path had been blocked. There was no shred of negative feeling (about them) left in me.
Had something like this happened in my earlier life, I wouldn’t have let the resentment go. This makes me wonder if the healing would have had the space to happen? If I hadn’t worked on feeling better, on trying to open myself up to the good of the situation (even when I couldn’t see it) and chose instead to stew in my anger (feeling justified for this, of course) then the disappointment would have just seemed like a meaningless cruelty.
I have come to see that a closed-door can also be guidance. An email or phone call not returned can be Spirit’s way of redirecting my focus and energy away from people and situations that may not be for my highest and best good. When I don’t jump to a negative conclusion about a situation that seems wrong or like something I didn’t want, I leave a door open for a path that I might have missed.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell
****THE WINNER OF THE SESSION IS BARBARA (her lovely website is: http://joyfulpaws.com *******