Guidance in the form of a closed door

Last year, an opportunity was presented to me that I was over-the-top excited about. It wasn’t something that I had been looking for, but I thought it was right for me, so I said yes. A few days before it was going to begin, the people (who had initially contacted me) told me that they had changed their minds about working with me. As they explained their reasoning, I tried to keep my composure, but I was so upset, I felt like I’d left my body. I drove away wanting to scream and cry. I also felt embarrassed that someone else was chosen over me.

But even as I drove away, I was aware that I needed to get into a better state mentally or I wouldn’t be able to stand myself. For the first few weeks, I really could not think about the situation (except to hope that they would call and say they’d made a terrible mistake and that they wanted me after all) without getting angry. They didn’t call. I was moving toward inner peace but the temptation to be angry at them was still there.

Over the weeks that followed, something big and dramatic happened in my family, and I realized that had I taken this position, I wouldn’t have been around, and wouldn’t have had the opportunity to heal a very old, and very deep, wound that I had covered up for many years. I could clearly see that Spirit was working (behind the scenes, as usual) to bring me to the best place, and I was filled with gratitude that this previous path had been blocked. There was no shred of negative feeling (about them) left in me.

Had something like this happened in my earlier life, I wouldn’t have let the resentment go. This makes me wonder if the healing would have had the space to happen? If I hadn’t worked on feeling better, on trying to open myself up to the good of the situation (even when I couldn’t see it) and chose instead to stew in my anger (feeling justified for this, of course) then the disappointment would have just seemed like a meaningless cruelty.

I have come to see that a closed-door can also be guidance. An email or phone call not returned can be Spirit’s way of redirecting my focus and energy away from people and situations that may not be for my highest and best good. When I don’t jump to a negative conclusion about a situation that seems wrong or like something I didn’t want, I leave a door open for a path that I might have missed.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell


****THE WINNER OF THE SESSION IS BARBARA (her lovely website is: *******

9 thoughts on “Guidance in the form of a closed door

  1. As someone said, “God always answers prayers. But sometimes He says,’No.’
    It has been my experience that the ‘No’ s bear the most fruit.

    Great and honest post, Mary. Thanks.

    • What a wonderful comment, Suzanne. Hard to deal with at the time but if something good comes out of something bad, there is a valuable lesson to be gained.
      SandyP in Canada

  2. Good one, Mary! I am dealing with a similar situation in my professional life. Thanks for the helpful share!

  3. Mary, Thank you so much for this candid post. It has come to me at the right time. While it doesn’t help to heal all of my “issues” it certainly allows me to apply perspective to one very painful and powerful situation in particular. I do trust my intuition and always ask spirit for guidance. Nonetheless, I do sometimes find myself in a state of grief. This particular situation is something that must be kept close to the heart but not allowed to burden me while here on earth.

    Peace, love and light.



  4. Mary, your insight is so valuable to me, and all who come here, thank you again and again.

  5. I have lived those emotional responses in the first two paragraphs; the saying ‘kicked in the gut’ was as close as I could describe. But Mary, you never stop in the stew; you take us on through!! Growing up, I heard the phrase “wisdom comes with age.” But as you so aptly put ,we need ‘the SPACE’ to be—age has nothing to do with it. How lucky we are to have found your SPACE!

  6. Thank you , Mary, again for a wonderful message and a nice way to start my day. I have changed email addresses and can’t find a way to change it so that your message comes to my new one, so go into the old account to find it. You have made my day. Sandy

  7. Oh, Mary, I could feel the disappointment rush over me as I read your post. I wanted to find those people and say “But this is MARY! Of course you want to work with her!” But, as usual, you are far ahead, sharing the process with us and letting us know that we can shape our lives by our attitudes and ability to see beyond the circumstance in front of us. I do think that it is important to see it as a process: that we can’t help our initial honest reaction (disappointment, anger) when a door closes, but it’s what we do with the experience that matters, that helps define us. Thanks so much for sharing with your flock.

  8. There’s a saying in Spanish, “el hombre propone, Dios dispone” – man proposes, God disposes. Just went through my mind as I read your post. Trusting in perfect timing, and someday all will be revealed. Thank you for this wonderful post.

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