I have fallen in love with painting…again. As far back as I can remember, I loved drawing, painting and creating art, but I could never find the space or the medium that felt “perfect”…so I didn’t do much of anything with it.
A few months ago, I had a revelation about my work and my life. I realized that I didn’t really care what I was doing, I cared about how I was feeling, and how I wanted to feel, while I was doing “it” (life). I wanted to get up everyday knowing that whatever I was doing in the moment (cleaning kitty litter, having tea with a friend, working with clients, helping my mother, making a phone call, writing, reading a book, ….) had the feeling of Life in it.
And so I said a prayer that went something like, “I want my life to be filled with loving, fun, meaningful, activity.” That was it. I told my higher self how I wanted to feel, and decided to trust in this larger part of me (Wisdom) to fill in the blanks on exactly how that would show up and what it would look like. I didn’t then try to figure out what this should be. The desire to paint again came after this “prayer”.
When I finally decided just to paint, my living room was adequate as a studio, and my husband, Jack, had the perfect medium; old wood that he had collected over the years; panels from 18th century doors, turn of the century crates and boxes, lids from broken wooden trunks… everything that I needed was right here…when I finally decided just to do what seemed like a fun thing to do.
“We have it in our power to begin the world over again.” Thomas Paine