expecting change, welcoming change

"Home"

“Home” (acrylic on old board)

A few months ago, I became a board member of a group that I’ve belonged to for about a year. I have never wanted to be on any kind of board before, and was totally surprised when I wanted to be on this one. Many years ago, I was asked to be on the board of an organization, and said yes for two reasons: the first was I thought it would be prestigious (good on my resume and all that nonsense) and second, I thought I should. I disliked it so much that I quit after 3 months. Then I felt guilty.

Back in April, when the vacancy was announced for this current board position, the feeling of “I want to do it!” flooded me. As I approached the president to put my name in, a little voice inside my head was also saying, “You don’t have enough time to do this. What if you get elected and then you don’t like it? What if they don’t elect you and then you feel resentful? What if ….” on and on it chattered away as I made my way forward.

My first meeting as an official board member happened this week. It involved a 3 hour drive (one way) to meet in an upstairs room of an old library (turned into a museum). It was 85 degrees outside, with no air conditioning inside, and I loved every minute of it. I sat at the table with six other people and thought, “I really like every one of these people”. They were fun, funny, serious, relaxed, focused, open to ideas…everything that, for me, makes life wonderful.

There are things that I am finding out I want to do (that I never did before) and other things that I was sure  I would want to do forever, that no longer speak to me. A few years ago, I did a ropes course (high up in the trees of the Adirondack mountains) and loved it so much that I almost bought a season’s pass. For the next few years, I did it many times. Then a few months ago, I did it with a friend and half way through I thought, “I don’t think I’ll ever do this again.” It just felt done, and I have come to trust this inner voice of No, as much as I trust the inner voice that says, Yes…and neither need to make sense to my “little chatter box” mind.

What will the world present today for me/you to love, and to say yes to? I love that thought.

No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now“. Alan Watts

25 thoughts on “expecting change, welcoming change

  1. Mary, I love this painting, and am thrilled for you and your readers to see your gift shining through. I never fail to read your posts and take something of meaning with me. Todays message is spot on for me. Be well…

  2. Mary –

    I loved this post – so spot on! I began doing this several years ago, too, and try to live now according to the energy I feel when things come up.

    I got a fridge magnet at Ben & Jerry’s when I first moved back to Vermont that says ‘If it ain’t fun – don’t do it!’ (or something close to that anyway), and have tried to always remember that saying when I face some decisions on whether to so something or not. Joining the board was a ‘Yes!’ For me also when I was approached – even though my ‘small ego voice’ kept telling me I didn’t have the ‘stuff’ to be one. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to it – it would have kept me from growing and meeting you!

    We are meant to be in joy, but somehow we are taught early on by parents and society (and our little egos!) to struggle – it is SO sad isn’t it? We make our lives so much harder by not listening to that ‘inner voice’ which only wants to lead us to our special path in life.

    Thank you for helping people to remember to listen more. You are such a treat to read and to come to know! I look forward to our time on the board together. We will have a hoot of a time, I think!

    Love & hugs – Wendy

    Sent from my happy mobile world to yours!

    >

  3. Good Morning Mary,

    Magnificent paintings!

    Thank you for sharing your beauty, wisdom and insights

    I’m enjoying the quotes by Alan Watts.

    Are you familiar with Paul Selig?

    Blessings & hugs,
    Monika

  4. I often have that experience with food. I’ll eat the same thing for weeks, months in a row and then suddenly I’m done. I used to beat myself up about it (ie listened to the chatter in my head or other people saying judgmental comments) and now I realize that my body will tell me when I’m done and what is next. Love that I can trust this “body voice” as well. As always…thank you for sharing. 🙂

  5. Thanks for your timely post. Over the years I have been involved in many activities. I will enjoy them intensely, and then suddenly, I don’t want to do them anymore, and move on to something else. I used to chide myself for not sticking with one thing and mastering it, but as I look back over the years, I see my experiences as rich and varied. Who goes to a buffet and only takes one thing? I am so glad for my many experiences and am looking forward to more.

    • It is a wonderful thing to realize, isn’t it?!…change is happening, nothing truly stays the same, …my only question now is, “How do I flow WITH this?”

  6. My lovely neighbor has a little dog that I met while walking my own one morning. I go to her house a couple of times a week in the afternoon just to let her little guy out and to keep him company when she has long days. You meet the nicest people walking your dog! So on Mother’s Day she gifted me with a beautiful oversized mug from “Sunny” to his other “Mommy” and on the mug it says, “Do More of What Makes You Happy!” – I happened to be eating my granola from this giant mug as I read your post, and it made my heart sing! If it feels right, do it! And do it with joy! I echo everyone here Mary – your paintings are beautiful. They are YOU! Keep doing more of what makes you happy!

    • What a great saying, Susan…how perfect, and thank you so much. I truly love painting these and am delighted beyond words that this shines through

    • Thank you Eileen! This one sold, but I will post it and others on MY ARTWORK page…(I am very happy to paint another, of the same image, but of course they will all be different and have their own unique personality)

  7. “What will the world present for me to love and say yes to?” Why, YOU did, Mary! I’m digging out all my old Alan Watts CD’s to re-listen and re-visit the messages. (Hearing him speak is such a joy; what a great sense of humor he had.)

  8. Seems like this board is another answer to your prayer for loving, meaningful,interesting, activity in your life. It’s all very encouraging Mary. Thanks for sharing your light.

  9. I just love your paintings Mary! I feel as though were all evolving together and in our own lives. Thank you so much for being a part of my journey.

  10. Mary I love your paintings. You have amazing gifts, and I am so glad you are sharing them with us.

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