friends surround us

a perfectly lazy afternoon at White Feather Farm

a lazy afternoon at White Feather Farm

I was asking my 86-year-old mother the other day if she was planning a trip to Florida this winter. She doesn’t go every year, but it has always been something that she loved doing. Her answer took me aback. She basically said, “One of the things that I loved about going to Florida was walking on the beach. I’m not steady enough on my feet to do that anymore, but it’s ok. I’m finding that I don’t necessarily want to do the things I’ve always done.”

She was so absolutely peaceful as she talked that I sat in amazement. My mother has always been the kind of person who wanted to do everything fast….and faster than other people. She didn’t accept “limitations” in herself or others, and while I think it can be wonderful to have high standards, there can also be something exhausting about it (both for the person and for those around them). Even people who are constantly trying to “be better people” often seem uneasy….and so they are not easy to be around.

I never remember my mother being at peace with herself and so as I watch her move into this place of acceptance, and not fighting the natural rhythm of her life, I feel at peace being with her too.

Life is not a battle to be won. There are no enemies who need to be fought. There is nothing to struggle against, or for, or with….unless I approach life that way. I’ve done that in the past, and I have exhausted myself and others. Life is happening for me…life is happening for you…life is happening for us all. …it’s time to relax, it’s time to trust that we live in a friendly universe…filled only with friends (and this includes our bodies, our animals, our families, our communities, our country, our world).

“Strenuous effort defeats your purpose and suggests the consciousness of an adverse force to be fought against….” Genevieve Behrend, from Your Invisible Power



Perfect Comes in All Shapes and Sizes (acrylic on old board) for sale on my artwork page

Perfect Comes in All Shapes and Sizes (acrylic on old board) for sale on my artwork page

7 thoughts on “friends surround us

  1. Thank you Mary – for the words for the incentive. PEACE….that is the goal in whatever and however we do something right.

  2. I have read and reread today’s post and find such a peace there… Thank you for sharing, Mary. Nice that your mother is accepting her ‘new’ way of being which makes it easier to be around her as well. While we are a bit younger than she, there is a lesson to be learned here, no matter what your age.
    Love and hugs to you! Marian

  3. Mary,
    I am finding that me-mory is not really helpful,particularly in this area, People, self help groups, always say “have some fun!” I don’t know what I find “fun” anymore. They say,”what did you find fun ‘before’/? Well, everything I found “fun” before no longer has that hold. Enjoyment MUST BE n
    Now..only. To think that you need to repeat something from 20 years ago..well, it;s not REAL-istic!
    You always bring up some Truth! Thank you.

  4. Yes, it’s always special when White Feather Farm comes into my inbox, especially over a week-end. Aging equates to acceptance to me but I’m not incapacitated as yet and it’s easy for me to pontificate until I am there. Your mother sounds like a practical woman dealing with her age well, Mary. As to not fighting phantom battles, I’d agree that you’re right, it’s a waste of emotional energy which is wearing on our minds and bodies…but…and there is always that but ………’s okay for me to feel that way when my life is peaceful but when I’m being attacked (always unfairly, of course…!!)..darned if my knickers don’t get in a knot and you’d think by now, I’d learn.
    SandyP in Canada

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