A couple of weeks ago, we noticed that our cat Ben was seeming off. He wasn’t hungry and was sleeping more than usual. We’d contemplated taking him to the vet but he began to improve. Then one day last week, he ran out in front of a car and made an instant transition into the non-physical realm.
After I recovered from the shock of his sudden passing, a deep knowing came over me that this was his choice. It wouldn’t have been mine. I would’ve preferred to take him to the vet, find out what was wrong, then make decisions from there. As I thought about this, I could see that my desire to control so much, even believing that life and death were things I should have some sort of power over, was futile. Alan Watts once said, “Believing that we have control over life is like the little child sitting next to father in the car, holding onto our plastic steering wheel, thinking we are the ones driving the car.”
When I take my emotions out of the picture, I can see that Ben’s passing was perfect for him and helpful for me. It was a great lesson in letting go of my ideas of right and wrong, my ideas about how others should live and die. He’s also been showing up in my dreams almost every night, and in my dreams I always say, “Ben! you’re here!” and he looks at me like, “Yeah, of course I’m here. I never left.” So he continues to teach me about the perfection of life, even now.
“As the years advance upon me, I see not only greatness but goodness, not only possibility but inevitability, in every little happening in the cosmos”. Sri Chinmoy
*this (and other!) paintings of mine are available for sale on MY ARTWORK page