entering the mystery

Eleanor sleeping on top of blankets and a large frog pillow (reminds me of the Princess and the Pea)

Eleanor sleeping on top of blankets and a large frog pillow (reminds me of the Princess and the Pea!)

Did you ever have a day where you felt like you didn’t know what to do or which way to turn? Several days ago, this is how I felt. There were many things that I could have done and many things that I should have done and yet I didn’t want to do any of them, so I decided to take a nap, which at the time, felt irresponsible. Lying down on my bed I had the thought, “If I knew that I only had 24 hrs to live, what would I do?” I originally thought I was asking this question of myself because of my seemingly extreme lack of motivation to do anything. The question (I thought) was like a kick in the butt. But what happened next was extraordinary.

As I truly pondered the question, I could see options moving across my inner vision. Would I go to Paris? No. India? No. The special restaurant I’ve been planning to visit? No. There was no place I would go.

The question: What would I do if I only had 24 hrs to live?

The answer: I would see the people who I loved, and I would thank them for being in my life.

I also knew that no matter how much I loved them, I couldn’t attach myself to them for 24hrs….none of us would enjoy that, but I would want to see them and thank them. So I closed my eyes and let the faces of my loved ones come to me. I saw their smiles and I heard their voices. At first I sort of “controlled” who I would see, calling to mind those closest to me, but then others started coming in. People who I’d known years ago, neighbors, casual friends, and some people who I would’ve considered difficult or unpleasant, began to appear in my mind’s eye, and what surprised me most was that I felt only love and gratitude for them. When I imagined that I only had 24 hrs to live, I saw all beings as equally “important” in my life.

This revelation has left an impression on me and has changed me….I’m not quite sure how, but I can feel it. Knowing that if I only had 24 hrs to live, I could somehow drop my preconcieved ideas about people and their “value” in my life, has expanded my consciousness and it was born from a sense that I was wasting time, being lazy, and opting for a nap when I should have been “productive”….


8 thoughts on “entering the mystery

  1. Simply beautiful,Mary!

    You were being productive; doing soul work, the best work of all!

    Thank you for sharing the days, Love, hugs & blessings to all, Monika

  2. Dear Mary, I love this! Sometimes divine revelation comes when we least expect it….or perhaps it’s there all along, but comes when we open ourselves to it. Thanks for this inspiring message today.

  3. Mary, this is such a good post. I’d be lying down and no doubt finding people I’d like to weed out of my mind because of past injustices but which I’ve realized were now positive and productive learning experiences for me though I never thought so at the time…but I’ve often felt I’ll have a happy old age when I have nothing but memories to sustain me if I live that long because most of my growing up years were in a home in which I was very much loved. I’m an adopted baby from birth who could have ended up anywhere in this life but happened to land into my adoptive parents laps who gave me such a great childhood…though it wasn’t without some serious problems either…as most families can have. As to allowing ourselves ‘time-out’, which is what I call it, a lack of motivation, there are some days I can’t stir my stumps for love nor money, so I’m glad someone else has days like that.
    Sandy P in Canada where I’m motivated at the moment to bake dog bisquits…we, the pups and I, are nearly out of my last batch

  4. Mary, have you read A Year to Live by Stephen Levine? His experiment was inspired by the lessons learned from working with terminally ill patients, by living mindfully in the present. It’s sub-titled ‘How to live this year as if it were your last.’ It sounds very much like you had a compressed 24 hour version when you stepped through the ‘looking glass’ for a nap!

  5. Wow, while I often feel unmotivated as you described, and often feel like I am not doing enough, not being productive enough, the list of negativity goes on, I have never asked the question of what would I do if I only had 24 hours to live. Perhaps if I took on that mindset of “time is fleeting” I would be more productive both in seeing loved ones/friends and getting things done. Loving this new outlook today ~ thanks friend, love you! ❤️

  6. This is incredible Mary! And ‘seeing’ all of those people makes total sense when you explain it like you have. I love this! And I have learned, in retirement, that rest is indeed a productive activity…it replenishes us in so many ways…and it’s an activity I rarely allowed myself in my 35 year career. So, while resting still feels like a luxury to me, I appreciate it in so many ways…and it can be just as important as exercise…when you need it!

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