A fresh, new, day

Fred, Bodhi adn Noah lounging on the sofa

Fred, Bodhi and Noah lounging on the sofa

The other day while on a run, I was thinking about someone who has been in my life (really just on the periphery) for many years, and how this relationship has always been a struggle. The next thought was that I needed to forgive her. I could feel that I still had a lot of resentment when I thought about her, even though it was pretty much dormant most of the time.

Often, when I realize that I need to take this step in my life and clear up the old, negative, energy that I’ve been carrying around, I’ll imagine sitting face-to-face with the person, seeing and hearing myself say that I forgive them and asking for their forgiveness, but as I began to do the process regarding this woman, it felt wrong. I felt like a victim and it just seemed so serious and uninspired, like, “Here I am the ‘good one’ taking the step of forgiveness because that is what a good, spiritual, person should do.”….yuk.

So I cleared the image and suddenly a new one came to mind: we were sitting face-to-face, but we were laughing and congratulating each other on a game well-played. The words, “You have been a worthy adversary” came out of my mouth and she said them back to me. Then all sorts of other people from my past joined in as well. It was as if my past life had been played on a gigantic game board and I could see myself and everyone else as “players”.

The feeling of liberation was astounding and with it came the thought that I had a choice about how I viewed my life. I could continue to unconsciously compete with people, considering every unpleasant interaction as a personal affront and challenge to me, thus seeing myself as mostly a competitor who needed to win in life (or protect myself from getting hurt) or I could wake up and see that I have been playing a role. I also like the thought that I have the ability to witness this and possibly choose another role, or no role. I really like the thought of dropping all roles, definitions of myself, ideas about who I am and who other people are (or are supposed to be) and to try to show up fresh everyday, ready to see what the world presents and how I respond without thinking about how to do it. I believe this is what it means to be authentic and it sounds like fun to me.

 

 

It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.’ Oscar Wilde

 

 

7 thoughts on “A fresh, new, day

  1. Saw a quote by Oprah the other day….”True forgiveness happens when we can say thank you for that experience. “

  2. Oh Mary, how I loved that insight! It was so fresh and is such an example of how we needn’t be so serious about our and others so called transgressions. Thank you once again for keeping yourself open and reminding us we can do the same.

  3. It made so much sense to me…but you put it into beautiful words that can be done! I too love the ideas of showing up fresh everyday. If I can remember this, then every day will become something new and exciting! Thanks.

  4. A wonderful post and photo. I read a quote years ago about how 2 people can’t play tug-of-war if one of them chooses to drop the rope. That’s what you post makes me think of, Mary. Thank you, as always.

  5. Learning how to deal with people is a continual process of understanding our own selves and how much we contribute to a relationship and how much the other person contributes to it both positively and negatively. When it becomes unbalanced, it becomes difficult and often dysfunctional. I like your analogy Mary and with this posting my email address dropped off your list. I felt the need for spiritual refreshment and found another posting. I have been dropped off once before, so will keep checking your blog.
    SandyP in Canada

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