giving credit where credit is due…but where is that?

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“Good Night” available on MY ARTWORK PAGE

For most of my life, I’ve (secretly) held the belief that if I wanted anything done well, I needed to do it myself. I took a lot of pride in getting things done, and for being on time with whatever I committed to…and I wanted to receive recognition for this. As a matter of fact, I wanted recognition and credit for most everything I did. Occasionally, I’d do something and say nothing, hoping it would be discovered and then I’d be sought out so I could “humbly” say, “Yes, it was me.”

I’ve known about my false humility in this area for a long time, but about a week ago, I woke up with the words, “Stop taking credit for anything. You’re not doing it” running through my mind. Since that moment, I thought about these words almost non-stop, and they’ve continued to unfold and become clearer.

The need for recognition, which went hand in hand with feeling that I really did things better than most, was a huge obstacle in seeing myself for who I really was/am. Thinking that I, Mary Muncil, was doing so much (and doing it so well) created an almost shield-like block to my faith in myself as a Divine being. Believing that things had to be done my way, in my timing, presupposed that these things didn’t have an animating life of their own, which was arrogant in the extreme…not to mention exhausting.

“What would it be like to stop taking credit for things going well and for things going not so well?” has been the concept that I’ve been playing with for the last few days, and it feels like freedom…it feels like light…it feels like fun.

“A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed. It feels an impulsion…this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind the clouds, and you will know too….

from,  Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, by Richard Bach

16 thoughts on “giving credit where credit is due…but where is that?

  1. To remember that everything we have is a gift, then every accomplishment or job well done becomes simply a joy – we really don’t need to take credit for it. After all, if we were gifted with our unique talents from our higher power, when we manifest them in word, deed, art, or whatever, the most natural response returns back to God, I think. A humble, thank you.

  2. Mary, thank you for sharing your thoughts and the burden of wanting perfection and credit for it. Susan, thank you for helping me see the humble thank you to my higher power in response to these yearnings.

  3. Dear Mary, I love the Richard Bach quote and your wise message this morning. I too have noticed in myself a tendency to look for credit or approval…..it is so distracting! And never yields the results I was lusting for anyway! Thanks for the reminder that everything is working in divine order, following a divine plan. When I focus on that instead of my need to feel recognized or validated, I feel a sense of peace and trust that is far more real and satisfying than the yearning and searching for validation.

  4. My mother, (now 91), has a saying that I’ve heard all my life; ” you know, it just dawned on me…”

    That is what came out of my mouth when I read today’s post, Mary. Your stories are most often those which I recognize as true for me too; false humility and thinking more highly of myself than I ought. I like when I can remember to stay ‘right-sized.’

  5. Your post today brought up the following — yesterday as I was having a Reiki treatment, some thoughts kept repeating in my head – over and over (will say them later). In your example – you thought you were doing the best and no one could do it better. Well, my example might be a bit different. My tendency has been to feel that EVERYONE can do things better than I and that I really don’t know how to do things. So, when my parents were ill and dying – I “had to” do “everything” as I am the only child in town. And, what happened was that no matter how much I did or to what degree I did it – it was never enough for my parents or my out of town sister or a cousin of mine. Problem was – internally I believed that I wasn’t doing enough also and somehow did not know the right way to help ailing/aging parents. You can just imagine the hamster wheel I was on. So, yesterday during my treatment, I kept saying – “you did enough, you did a great job, you really surprised yourself as to what you are capable of, you really were a helping, caring daughter, etc. etc.” I did as good a job as I was able to do. Finally starting to give myself credit for what I learned about myself. It certainly has been a process as they both passed away twelve years ago.

    • Mary, one of my most favorite phrases, and I wish I could give credit to whoever said, wrote it is ” Enough is plenty!” Whether it is our effort on a given day, or even with food, a simple “enough” is plenty, – be content in the day. You have done your share. Bless you Mary! I love reading your comments always as I do all of our WFF flock!

  6. I love the post, have missed your thoughts this past week, Mary and I love the responses, which others share here. I don’t think I’m wrong when I say we all come from the centre of ourselves, what other way is there, yet, how much arrogance is involved I don’t know…I can’t step back and see myself until it is the reflection of another. I remember years ago, making a sarcastic comment about my late husband who was a workaholic and never home (also up to other ‘stuff’ that I wasn’t aware of at the time), but it was that one sarcastic remark made to his best friend and all he said, was: “Oh San”. That’s all it took. My career in smart cracks and sarcasm ended right there. It wasn’t a 100% turnaround but darned near. I’d disappointed someone I thought highly of and could see myself in that one instant through his eyes. It happens.
    SandyP in Canada

  7. “What would it be like to stop taking credit for things going well and for things going not so well?” has been the concept that I’ve been playing with for the last few days, and it feels like freedom…it feels like light…it feels like fun.”

    Mary, when I read your words I had such a feeling of release! I felt light as a cloud… So THAT’S what it would take to relax more into life. Being the only daughter in a family which included four younger brothers, (three of them much younger), I was the bossy , teacherly older sister , who naturally took it upon herself to think she was the one who knew better, was more scholarly, etc. All through my growing up years , my brothers coped with my knowing (or doing) -it -all better by largely just being contrary.. With just about everything! If I would observe that it was hot outside my younger brother would declare it was cold. Of course, I was always expecting some kind of recognition and respect for being the one
    who just naturally knew it better by virtue of being older ! (I wonder if this isn’t what commonly happens to the first born child. Let alone an only daughter. )
    … And so, now in my 6 th decade there is your sentence , and at long last, I think I’ll just relax and have fun with the possibility that I don’t have to do or know anything “better”. To be honest , I just have to chuckle at myself how obvious this seems …and yet it took your post to hold up a mirror…

    • Bobbiemeri, I was an only child as well. it’s funny how we live in the isolation of our own minds as to how things are to be done and that we know what feels best to us, at least. Your brothers sound as though they took some of the ‘starch’ out of your ‘bossiness’ but you must have been a great help to your mother, an extension of her mothering your brothers. SandyP in Canada

  8. It is interesting what the “isolation of our own minds” can do, Sandy . Thank you for your kind words in saying that I was of help, (something that was not ever really acknowledged to me) . What with all of the ins and outs, ups and downs that we’ve experienced , at least we readers are on a path of wanting more clarity and understanding . Mary S , I too can relate to how you can have felt ” not enough”. I can see that in the end , we can only do what we know to do or be. How can it be “wrong ” to simply be ourselves and do what we can out of love and good intentions. I’m still going to really enjoy the day knowing that in the grand scheme of things I can only offer a flower to add to the vase.

  9. Thank you all for your comments. When I wrote this post, I had the feeling that if I tried to really explain what I meant by not taking credit for anything, I’d be going down a rabbit hole. It’s almost as if I cannot articulate this new “knowledge”, but I can say what it is not. I’m not talking about playing little or being self-deprecating. It’s not about giving other people the credit while I stand back. The power that is working through me (and everyone) is me…and is everyone. Listening to that voice (the inner guidance that is coming from the Self) and following that (which is still a part of my self) is not about getting recognized, it’s about recognizing a part of us that has been (possibly) ignored or minimized as not quantifiable. I don’t take credit for that and I don’t need others to see it in me either because I “know” it is so much larger than me (while still being me). Oh, I’m sorry, I’m laughing right now because I still don’t think this is clear but I hope it sheds a little more light on what I was trying to say. Sending you all a big hug through the ethers today!

  10. Mary , taking it further , I understand.. Especially that it’s the part of us that is competent , whole, beautiful but that part of it is something that only we need to feel secure about within ourselves. We don’t NEED verification from elsewhere. We can stand tall , feel whole within ourselves. And then we can truly “let go.” I see what you are saying… It doesn’t call for self deprecation either. It just calls for that lightness of feeling we can have if we trust our true Self.

  11. Wow Mary! It sounds like you were writing about me! Your post has really made me stop and think…I want to be free…it will take some work, but I think I want to do it. THANKS.

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