What will I do today?

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Eleanor snuggling with one of Luke’s toys

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” E. B. White

 

For much of my life, I’d felt a deep urge to help others…but it never seemed like I was doing enough. I believed that life was a long, narrow, uphill, climb toward some place of perfection where I would finally be in my right place, doing my right work, at the right time; a place where I’d finally know who I was and why I was here. I struggled for years to get to this place, yet it always seemed out of reach. Rest was not an option on this path.

During these years of struggle, I was incredibly self-concerned, but I didn’t realize it. I thought that my striving was noble, not selfish. I assumed that harsh self-examination was the path to improvement…and god knows, I believed that I needed to be improved. But God didn’t “know” this. This wasn’t a Divine path. The constant thoughts of how I could be a better person, do more for the world, and become happier, were fueled by ego.

When I began to lighten up, which meant stopping critical thoughts about others and myself, I noticed that people around me changed and reflected this light back to me. I saw that I didn’t so much have to do something but I needed to stop doing/thinking the things that separated me from who I really was/am: Love.

I don’t mean to suggest that I never have a critical thought about myself, or other people, anymore. I have plenty of them, but I am much more aware of these thoughts as invitations to a fight; they are seductive; they call to me with feelings of anger, righteous indignation, resentment, and revenge. They tell me that I am better than other people. They tell me that I’ve been wronged. They tell me that there is a right and a wrong (I’m usually the right/virtuous one) and I must choose my side and fight for it, or banish the other one. They masquerade as strength, but in reality, if I believe them, I become their victim.

I’ve been declining a lot of these invitations lately and in their place, choosing to see what is right with a person (including myself), situation, event, or memory. Several days ago, I was thinking about one of the people currently running for president, and how easy, and almost fun, it is to blast this person. So, again, I noticed this and asked myself, “What is there to love about this person?” We are one. He/she is a part of my consciousness at some level. It wasn’t hard to answer the question, it only required giving up my desire to criticize and condemn.

So, what will I do today, save or savor the world? I think that I’ll just be myself. I will Love it/me/them/us and I will allow that Love to flow back to me.

 

23 thoughts on “What will I do today?

  1. Great post Mary! As I sit here watching a live stream of the college commencement ceremony of a dear extended family member in Michigan, I snuck a look at your post as some of the hundreds of
    names are being called. It made me smile…and watching these young people move forward to make
    their marks in our world, it occurs to me that perhaps the best way to save the world IS to savor it. To let that savoring energy ripple out from us and between us. It feels like just the kind of energy I’d like to attract! Happy May! 🌷

    • I love your words, Kathye,…”the best way to save the world IS to savor it”….I agree! (and you certainly do that). May your day be filled with savory, lovely, and wondrous “things” today! Love, Mary

    • I have been waiting for a new post, and as I was settling in to bed, I wondered if tonight would be “my” night to hear from my friend Mary. Today was a hard one in the face of alot of transition, but I wanted to maintain my peace, and shine it on my children and father… And as you have proven to me time and again Mary, you are “in tune”. Your words are like apples of gold in settings if silver. I miss you, but have you. Thank you.

  2. Yes! Sara may go to a meditation session this evening: I’ll let you know. Wondering about your mom?!

    Sent from my iPhone

    • I appreciate that, Sandy. May thoughts of Love, peace, and abundance of all kinds fill your mind, heart and soul today and may these “show up” in your world as soon as this afternoon! Love, Mary

  3. Oh dearest Mary. I woke up very early this morning when for some reason you came to mind. Nothing in particular only how often your words have nudged me along my path. Thanks so much for another generous read and reason to pause. I agree. 😘

  4. Love this one- Your writing made me realize how in the quest for self-improvement and helping others it can become a place of no rest as you never truly “arrive”. It has taken me an incredibly long time to really get this- and your writing clarified what I have been feeling lately! I am just beginning to understand that love, acceptance, contentment, self-care and happiness are really the best way to be on the “Divine path” and savor as well as improve the world.

    • So well put, Katie…thank you. Every time I get re-wrapped up in myself, I realize that I (energetically) look like a tight ball of string…not very available, not very comforting to anyone…then I take a breath and unwind…and reconnect to myself (and everyone). I appreciate having you to walk this journey of awakening with. Love, Mary

  5. Oh Mary, how I needed to hear your message today. Thank you for always being honest and for bringing out the beauty and love in everything. Your wisdom is refreshing and always touches my soul.

  6. Reblogged this on Trail Mix and commented:
    I have followed Mary Muncil’s blog for several years. I admire the honesty with which she writes about her spiritual journey. Often I feel as if I have come to a similar spot on my own path; this piece is one of those moments.

    • Thank you for your lovely thoughts…I am delighted that you chose to reblog this post. May unexpected, wonderful, happenings be yours today.
      Love,
      Mary

  7. I like the fact that you have a choice. Lately, so many of my days seem to be filled with choices I haven’t really made. Or so it seems! Of course, somewhere along the line I said or did something that brought me to a day like today, when my agenda is filled to capacity! Your words helped me to develop some perspective. Thank you, Mary, for your thoughts, and this beautiful blog!

  8. The world seems to be a better place when I read your thoughts. I will try to keep them close to my heart and quit trying to “fix” everything, especially myself. (Hugs to sweet Eleanor).

  9. Mary, your blog today came at a great time for me – they usually do and isn’t it wonderful how the universe works that way? SO many invitations have been offered to me lately and I find I am struggling with them and not focusing on being my true loving self. Your words bring me back to center, to see the good/God in everyone and every situation first. Thank you!

    • I too am always delighted at how whatever I seem to need (words, thoughts, things, people, ideas) do come just when I need them, Pat. Thank you so much for your comment. May this day bring a special invitation that will surprise and delight you! Love, Mary

  10. Hello Mary…I woke up today thinking of you. I do not mean to intrude, but just hoping you are doing well? I am sending good thoughts your way…

    Maggie

    Maggie Shontz maggieb508@me.com 630-464-3250

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