an inclusive life

Luke trying to get Eleanor to play...she isn't amused.
Luke trying to get Eleanor to play…she isn’t amused.

When I notice that I’m not feeling good emotionally, it takes little introspection to realize that I’ve excluded someone from my life…maybe not overtly, like telling them to leave me alone, but in my mind I’ve made them into an enemy. Then my mind begins to look for evidence to support this belief…and it always finds plenty.

While excluding people, whom we feel have hurt us, initially can feel good, even powerful, eventually it shrinks our worlds just a little. Several days ago, I realized that I had done just that, and I watched this petty part of my mind try to justify its thoughts about someone. It was arguing for my limitations, telling me not to open my heart, warning me that I wasn’t safe.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I knew better, and that I would not accept living a small life based on exclusion…which is always fear in disguise.

I began to softly repeat, “I love every being. Everyone is included in my life.”

I thought about one person in particular, but I didn’t try to figure out how to change my thoughts about her, I just knew that they would…and I was right. I also didn’t take any action like calling or emailing her. Working with my mind was enough to bring me inner peace and freedom from fear of being hurt or of hurting her anymore with unkind thoughts…Love always leads me home to my heart where everyone (including me) is safe and loved unconditionally.

”Do I love you?” is the important question. It’s the only thing I need care about. ‘Do you love me?’ is a prison. It’s a torture chamber.” Byron Katie



4 thoughts on “an inclusive life”

  1. Mary, your thoughts and words are always spot on! Thank you for sharing not only the problem but a workable solution. Many can identify an issue but often they offer no remedy. Sometimes we overthink things and can create situations in our minds, blowing them way out of proportion or analyzing past things and thinking “I should have said this” or “I wish I had done that”. While I tend to do this, I realize it is a complete waste of time as we can’t go back and do things over, just try to do better going forward.
    Love your blogs and love you, Marian ❤️❤️❤️

  2. Another timely message, Mary, I’m not quite there yet with new neighbours who moved in with twelve to fourteen old cars (son in his 30’s bought the house for he, his wife and his parents) plus three boats which are all stored on our lot line (we have long narrow ten acre lots along our road). I am finally spending $3,000.00 to put up fencing so that we don’t see all the vehicles and boats, money that doesn’t come easily for me but the mess is devaluing my property. I fussed and fussed about it to the point where I thought I’d be having my will read earlier than I’d hoped and decided a partial fence would be cheaper than having my will read to my executors. And now, I have to work on feeling less upset with these people. I’m not sure I’m going to succeed in short order but I’ll work towards it because you’re right, the more you get upset with someone the more you look for things to justify your anger.
    SandyP in Canada

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