replacing the old guard

It’s been almost 3 months since I made the decision to say yes to whatever was asked of me. During this time, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with a number of people about this decision. Many have responded with questions about how I’d react if I were asked to do some outrageous stunt…some have expressed concern that I will be taken advantage of, and these were concerns of mine as well…before I began this adventure of opening myself up to the unknown.

The experience of being open to whatever was/is presented has put me in what I can only describe as an exquisite flow. The biggest change for me is this: I am no longer afraid of being overwhelmed or harmed in any way by showing up for life…as it presents itself to me. I didn’t realize how much energy I’d used up by trying to protect myself: weighing, over-analyzing, and dissecting every opportunity/request that came my way.

By committing to saying yes, it feels as though the Universe/God/Spirit has orchestrated opportunities that are tailor-made for me. It has been an exercise in Trust, and for someone who professed to be a big believer in trusting Spirit, I’ve been surprised to see the areas in my life, hidden away by justification and over analysis, that needed to be challenged. I feel so much less guarded about life. I want to experience it all: touch my boundaries, challenge me to be my best self, offer me opportunities to try and fail…I want to experience it all.

A few months ago, someone asked me to submit a story, to the organization, Expressing Motherhood. I said yes, did it, and let it go. I was genuinely surprised to be chosen as one of the participants, but my surprise has turned into delight…I don’t know what to expect and I like that feeling.



5 thoughts on “replacing the old guard”

  1. Dear Mary, Wow! How amazing is this! Congratulations! Here’s to opening yourself to life! I believe God has given you your answer to opening up yourself to the Universe!

  2. Hello Mary….As I read…and reread…and reread this…I keep returning to your previous thoughts on “Faith” …may this revelation on “the old guard” be s continuation on the Faith journey…as in a deeper faith in self? We grew up together…our social mores our religious upbringing and our educationsl guidance was pretty much the same. In the words of the Grateful Dead…what a long strange journey its been…but also a wonderful one. ,My faith has taken so many twists and turns over the years…marriage divorce, annulment (our Catholic “feet)’… and then marriage again. For me, the one constant has been “me” …the faith I have in “me”..but tempered with Faith in others. I truly feel that inner Faith is born through the synergy we develop with others…which strengthens our faith in ourselves…which ultimately can lead us on the journey to freedom from worry. I hope this hasn’t appeared rambling…but I do believe our past lives influence our “fit” *in this one….and help us continue the journey….

  3. I would have to say, in hindsight, that this part…… much energy I’d used up by trying to protect myself: weighing, over-analyzing, and dissecting every opportunity/request that came my way……is something that I think has crossed my mind but that I quickly discounted in order to allow myself to back away from an invite. Thanks for this great eye opening blog, Mary.

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