Archive by Author | Mary Muncil

Write a new script and change your life…and a give-away!

 

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Fred this morning watching me write

Several weeks ago, I was looking for a blank notebook and found a dream that I’d written down a couple of years earlier, along with some letters I’d written (not intending to send) to various individuals whom I’d had problems with. Below is what I wrote about the dream,

“I entered a beautiful room, after being in a bunch of situations that seemed somewhat disconcerting. At once I noticed that the room was made entirely of puzzle pieces. I was told not to take any pieces out. I noticed a man, who was also a puzzle piece with writing on it, and I held it in my hands, amazed at how intricately and beautifully it was made. Each piece was also beautifully and exquisitely made and came to life as I touched them.” Then I woke up. Re-reading this dream affirmed my belief that no person is in my life by accident, and everyone who is now, or has ever been in my life, is a vital part of me in some way.

All of the letters were written for the purpose of healing the relationships and bringing me inner peace and resolution. In these letters I was able to say things that I couldn’t say in person without causing more pain or confusion. I didn’t write about how I had been hurt or what they had done to me. I wrote about my part in the difficulty. I wrote about the petty, mean, hurtful, thoughts I’d had about them, and asked for their forgiveness.

As I thought about the dream and the letters, I realized in a deeper way that we are all connected, and since this is a Truth, we have the power to change/heal our lives using our minds…and I was holding the proof in my hands. All of the letters that I’d written had resulted in either reconciliation with the person or release of the resentment I’d been carrying, and all of this happened without confrontation or needing to talk it out.

I’d forgotten about this tool, and today realized that I really need to do it again with several people whom I have been harboring less-than-nice thoughts about. It is time to sweep my side of the street…even though there really isn’t a “my side” and “their side”…it is all my side. I clear up my thoughts and find that I am transformed and restored to wholeness in what feels like a miraculous way.

 Save yourself…” Jacob Marley’s last words to Ebenezer Scrooge in Dickens, A Christmas Carol.

THE GIVE-AWAY!

I am giving away a 20 minute session with me. To enter this give-away all you need to do is comment with a word or a thought that brings you a sense of inner peace. Feel free to tell a story or just post one word. Everyone (even if you’ve won before) is free to enter. I’ll select a random entry on Thursday, Dec. 1st. To read about what a session with me is like, go to my home page, and click the tab at the top that says, Private Sessions

NORTHSHIRE BOOKSTORE CAFE GALLERY From December 1st through the 30th, I’ll have my artwork for sale at the Northshire Bookstore Cafe Gallery inn Manchester, VT. Feel free to email me if you have any questions. mmuncil@verizon.net

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“Freedom to choose my direction” about 7.5 x 7.5 x 2″ on very old wood, $95 (all of my artwork will be at the Northshire Bookstore Cafe Gallery on Dec. 1st, but can also  be purchased now…visit *MY ARTWORK Page to see more

 

 

 

 

your own success story

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“Together” (mixed media sculpture) for sale on my artwork page

Jack and I hit a huge crisis in our lives several months ago. At times, all we wanted to do was pull the covers over our heads and hope it would go away…hope that it was all a bad dream. But those thoughts and feelings were only sporadic. We both knew that anything that was in our faces, was not only called into being by us, but was actually there to help us grow, awaken, and become more than we dreamed we could be.

One day, when I thought that I’d never get rid of the ugly scenes that flowed through my mind, I began to say, “Of course this will become a non-issue. You are continually changing. Don’t hold yourself to such a low standard of thought. Never say that you, or anyone else, can’t change.”

I felt instant relief as memories of how I had changed, in very significant ways, began to flood my mind. I recalled how in high school I felt dumb. I did so poorly in classes that I almost didn’t graduate. But when I decided to challenge that, it changed… I changed…and now, there is no part of me that feels inadequate in this area of my life. I needed to “do the work”, but that was OK. At 29 years old, with 2 children, I graduated summa cum laude, phi beta kappa, from the University of New Hampshire, and went on to study at Harvard Divinity School.

Then I remembered getting sober in 1986. Because I had started drinking when I was 13 (one of the reasons for the pitiful grades and behavior in high school) I couldn’t imagine a life without alcohol. But one day, Grace hit me over the head with the words, “You are an alcoholic and you need AA”, and from that moment on, I never drank again…and more importantly, never wanted to.

For years, I had tortuous relationships with my parents. I truly believed that I’d never feel inner peace when I thought of either of them…but it changed. I wasn’t hit over the head with Grace on this one…I had to work at it, but eventually my thoughts evolved and now, I can easily say that those relationships are perfect…just the way they are. My parents don’t need to change for me to love them. Amazing.

As I pondered more ways that I had once been “possessed” by negative thoughts (about anyone and anything including myself) and realized that I was no longer there, I knew in my heart that the current situation was going to be the same, and very quickly, examples began showing themselves to me of how this situation was really a profound gift.

I thought of all of our friends and family who’d supported us, loved us, and told us that they were holding us in their prayers and thoughts. So many came forth with just simple words like, “You guys have always been great together. You’ll get through this.” Jack and I would always talk about these incidents at night and soak in the blessings….and gifts….and this brings me to “the nights”.

For years, we’d had separate bedrooms…thinking that Jack’s snoring and my need for a lot of space were the reasons, but as soon as this happened, we clung to each other as if we were saving our lives…and being back in the same bed just happened. What a gift. Something that we thought we didn’t want at all (someone talking to us or waking us up in the middle of the night) has become one of the favorite parts of our day….gentle, soft, words like, “I love you”, “You are wonderful”, “I am so happy to be married to you”, float between us like clouds of blessings….what a gift….what a success story.

One thing that I am sure of is this: every situation in my life, in your life, in anyone’s life, has within it a very different story, outcome, or result…if we choose to look for it. We cannot curse the events of our lives and expect them to yield blessings/good. We cannot call someone horrible, deranged, stuck, unable to change, or any other “curse” and expect a different person to suddenly show himself or herself to us. All of life is happening for me. All of life is happening for you. Bless it…release the past…and claim your success story now.

“A metaphysician once gave me a wonderful recipe for taking every trick in the game of life, it is the acme of nonresistance. He gave it in this way; ‘At one time in my life, I baptized children, and of course, they had many names. Now I no longer baptize children but I baptize events, but I give every event the same name. If I have a failure I baptize it success.” In this we see the great law of transmutation, founded on nonresistance. Through his spoken word, every failure was transmuted into success.”

From, The Game of Life and How to Play It, Florence Scovel Shinn (published in 1925)

This entry was posted on October 29, 2016. 18 Comments

join the festival

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“bon appétit” A new mixed media sculpture of mine (details on my artwork page)…as I was photographing it outside, a chickadee landed on top…so sweet.

I was talking with someone the other day and she seemed off. I wasn’t sure if this woman was just in a bad mood or was feeling physically ill, but the visit was edgy and a little uncomfortable. We’d made a plan to go out for coffee, and I really felt like cancelling, but I didn’t. Half way through our time together, she brought up something painful that I’d said to her in the past.

She said it with a laugh, but there was also a barb.

I almost apologized but stopped myself when I realized that I had already profusely apologized to her…several times. As a matter of fact, almost every time she brought up the past, I would find myself apologizing for something.

As I drove away, I thought, “No apology will ever be enough for her. She sees herself as an innocent player in a hurtful past and seems to crave, and get some sort of temporary relief from, apologies that she either can’t believe or accept. She wants to have meaningful, loving, relationships, yet holds onto the idea that almost everyone in her life has hurt her…and she will not forget, so she never really forgives anyone. She is stuck in the past…the unhappy, unloving, unfulfilled, past…and no one can free her except herself, but she doesn’t know it.”

I forgot about this interaction until several days ago, when I woke up in a less-than-good mood, began a conversation/grievance (can’t remember about what) with Jack, but was stopped mid-sentence when he said, “I am so sorry. Can’t we put that behind us? We are in such a new place….”

In that moment, I realized that I was doing the very thing that I hated being done to me. I was bringing up a past hurt (because of my own in-the-moment, bad mood/insecurity) and wanting Jack to, yet again, apologize, say he was wrong, say I was right, acknowledge how much he’d hurt me… I wasn’t at all interested in looking honestly at my own past behavior and how I’d hurt him. Nope…in that moment, I was (rather unconsciously) blaming him for my bad feelings and demanding that he make me feel better.

I sat there quietly and thought; “No one can free me except myself. It doesn’t matter what he says now. If I don’t change, I will continue to be the same kind of emotional victim that I find so unappealing.” This new thought brought a feeling of light to my mind and heart and I even felt grateful for that interaction with the woman several weeks earlier. It was as if I was given a glimpse of who I was or would become, if I didn’t change.

I also knew that I was being called up to higher level of living/love and that keeping my mind and thoughts in the now, continuing to gently turn them away from past and future, was the key to everything in this expanded field. Of course I’ve known this (at some level) for years, but this incident: being able to see this negative pattern in myself so clearly, brought me to a new awareness that the work of awakening is really quite a trip…and one that I really want to be on!

Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with you. You’ll see that no one else, other than you, was responsible. The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival.” Osho

Mary’s Skin Survival Balm available now!

I’ve made another batch of my skin balm. If you are interested in purchasing any, email me at mmuncil@verizon.net and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. The tins are 2 oz and are $8.95 each (buy 4, get one free). Shipping is $3 for one, and a flat $4 for any amount over one.

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This entry was posted on October 16, 2016. 14 Comments

a simple tool

 

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Griffin and Nana (me) getting ready for Sullivan’s baby blessing

I often take my 2-year-old grandson, Griffin, to the library on rainy days, and the other day, I overheard a woman remark that she really enjoyed seeing the toddlers playing there. I loved her observation, and was about to agree with her, but she quickly followed up by adding, “It is such a shame and so disturbing that so many kids spend hours in front of the television, on computer games…” As she continued to speak, I could feel the energy become dense and low. Her brow furrowed and she looked distressed. If she had stopped at what she’d first observed, I think she would have felt better.

I didn’t blame her. I’ve done the same thing myself, many times. But I am quicker to catch myself these days. If I want to change and become a happier, more open, person, then I must stop dragging negative comparisons along. It’s a really bad habit and it also keeps us stuck.

A beautiful day today doesn’t need to be compared to the “rotten weather we’ve been experiencing”. A magical time with my mother doesn’t need to be contrasted with how difficult it used to be. A compliment from someone doesn’t need to be rejected or looked upon suspiciously, because they’ve never said anything like that before. If we stop and take in the beautiful day, the magical time, and the compliment, we will change…and isn’t that what we are here to do…to grow, expand, and become more than we ever dreamed we could be?

This is such a profoundly simple, spiritual, tool. So often we don’t need to do anything to change…we just need to stop doing/thinking negative, unhappy, thoughts that block the Goodness and the Grace that are there for us…and that are us.

“If you live right mentally, everything else will be right. By a change of mental diet you can alter the course of observed events. But unless there is a change of mental diet, your personal history remains the same. You illuminate or darken your life by the ideas to which you consent. If you find the world unchanged, it is a sure sign that you are wanting in fidelity to a new mental diet, which you neglect in order to condemn your environment.” Neville Goddard

 

an inclusive life

Luke trying to get Eleanor to play...she isn't amused.

Luke trying to get Eleanor to play…she isn’t amused.

When I notice that I’m not feeling good emotionally, it takes little introspection to realize that I’ve excluded someone from my life…maybe not overtly, like telling them to leave me alone, but in my mind I’ve made them into an enemy. Then my mind begins to look for evidence to support this belief…and it always finds plenty.

While excluding people, whom we feel have hurt us, initially can feel good, even powerful, eventually it shrinks our worlds just a little. Several days ago, I realized that I had done just that, and I watched this petty part of my mind try to justify its thoughts about someone. It was arguing for my limitations, telling me not to open my heart, warning me that I wasn’t safe.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I knew better, and that I would not accept living a small life based on exclusion…which is always fear in disguise.

I began to softly repeat, “I love every being. Everyone is included in my life.”

I thought about one person in particular, but I didn’t try to figure out how to change my thoughts about her, I just knew that they would…and I was right. I also didn’t take any action like calling or emailing her. Working with my mind was enough to bring me inner peace and freedom from fear of being hurt or of hurting her anymore with unkind thoughts…Love always leads me home to my heart where everyone (including me) is safe and loved unconditionally.

”Do I love you?” is the important question. It’s the only thing I need care about. ‘Do you love me?’ is a prison. It’s a torture chamber.” Byron Katie

 

 

a 15 minute trip…the destination is your choice

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He Holds the Universe in His Hands (painting available on my artwork page)

Several nights ago, Jack and I got into a lengthy discussion about our relationship. After 20 minutes of “honestly” telling each other what we felt was missing, how we had been disappointed, discouraged, angry, hurt, and generally dissatisfied, we both felt horrible. The more we talked about what was wrong (in an attempt to correct these shortcomings) the worse we felt.

I know this truth: look for what is wrong and you will find it. Attempt to solve problems or clear misunderstandings from a place of unhappiness and all of the negative, crappy, old complaints will jump on that train and take you on a ride to hell.

As we sat on the couch feeling more and more deflated, we decided to try something different and began to talk about what we appreciated and loved about each other. Within a few minutes, our energy lightened, and just like when we talked about what we didn’t like, and more examples popped up to confirm that we were in fact a mess, as we talked about what was good, fun, loving, caring, wonderful, surprising, delightful, and happy, more memories, stories, and occasions presented themselves as well.

In 15 minutes, we went from discouragement to actual happiness about where we were as a couple, and even where we had been.

 

15 minutes.

 

What I know is that anyone can do this. You do not need special training or any skill other than a genuine desire to see yourself and “the other” with new eyes. If you can’t sit down with the person who you believe is causing you so much pain, then do this in your mind. Imagine having the new, positive, conversation and do it until your energy changes.This is what I believe true forgiveness is.

There is a self-defeating human tendency to not want to think anything good about the person we blame for our unhappiness. It can almost feel like we will loose our leverage (anger, resentment, etc.) if we see the good in them or forgive them…especially if we don’t think that this will be reciprocated. But if we don’t do this, we will end up bitter, small, and more fearful, believing that we need to protect ourselves from further injury.

Love is the only power strong enough to protect us from harm, and the field of Love is accessed through the open mind…and heart.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

an unexpected opening and a give away

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Our newest grandson, Sullivan, snuggling with his Nana

Today has unexpectedly opened up, so it seemed like a fun thing to do to offer 20 minute sessions for $20. If this speaks to you, just send me an email (mmuncil@verizon.net) and we will set up a time to talk. You can read more about the work that I do on my Private Sessions Page (a tab at the top of my homepage).

The Giveaway

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A few weeks ago I ordered some of my favorite incense (The Moon by HEM) on line and when it showed up, I was surprised to find that instead of ordering 5 boxes, I’d ordered 5 cartons (with 10 boxes in each), so I thought I’d offer one as a give-away. To enter this give-away, just post a comment about some scent/smell/fragrance that you love, and I’ll choose a random entry on August 2nd.