Remembering the best

The little glass plate that I take out every year at Christmas: a treasured gift from a friend

“Everything is determined by forces over which we have no control. 

It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. 

Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust

– we all dance to a mysterious tune,

intoned in the distance by an invisible piper“.

Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)

This words above were read at the funeral of a friend, Jim Bailey, last Saturday. His son Ian had gotten the call to come home, and as he waited on Christmas Eve in the Denver airport, for his flight back to northern Vermont to say goodbye to his father, he looked up, and written on a succession of rafters, this quote revealed itself; one line at a time. He said that he had never noticed it before. I had never heard this quote either.

I hadn’t seen Ian since he was a senior in high school, 15 years ago. He was a kid. I can’t remember a word he said back then.

On Saturday, I sat listening to a man speak about his father; about making the most of this life, about the passage of time, about the uncertainly of life, and as he spoke, I saw Jim in him; funny, bright, caring, full of life, and love. Jim must have been so proud of the man Ian has become…is becoming….life unfolding, growing, expanding outward.

I stayed with friends on Friday evening, and at dinner that night, we talked about Jim and also about death. A question that came up was, “If it was you who had passed, and your friends were gathered here talking about you, what is the one thing that you would want to hear them saying; what do you want to be remembered for?”

What I most remember about Jim Bailey is his smile and his kindness to everyone. At Christmas one year, he gave me a hand-blown glass plate that I adored. It is still one of my favorite Christmas decorations to unwrap and put out. It always reminds me of him. When the email came, saying that he had passed away on Christmas day, I was overwhelmed with emotion, and with the sense of mystery that there is an unseen pattern/order to life.

What do I hope will be said of me when I am no longer here? I love that question. I want to be remembered as someone who made a positive difference in this world. What about you? I invite you to answer this question here on the blog if you would like to.

Dr. James T. Bailey,
June 28, 1928- December.25, 2013

Solutions

Eleanor in the garden

The other day someone was talking about a 3-legged dog that he had recently adopted, and who seemed to be doing really well, but as this man spoke about his dog’s background and the bad situation that she came from, he kept saying, “The poor thing” over and over. I finally said, “Consider for a moment how you would feel if someone was thinking, every time they looked at you, ‘That poor thing. He really isn’t doing well!'” Or even imagine  looking in the mirror and having those thoughts about yourself. Most of us would (energetically) recoil from that kind of thought. It doesn’t feel good to us because it isn’t high-energy thinking. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, really does apply here with the slight change of: “Think about others, as you would like them to think about you.”

Coincidentally (of course I don’t believe in coincidence!) a few days before I ran into this man, Jack and I had seen a woman in Middlebury, VT walking a 3-legged dog. At first I thought the dog was limping, and I am embarrassed to admit that my reflex thought was, “Doesn’t that owner know that her dog is hurt?” but as I watched them I saw that the dog was just trotting along (with a little jump in his/her step) with only 3 legs, and both dog and owner seemed like they were getting along just fine.

If we are looking at someone (animal, person, or situation) as heartbreaking or hopeless, then that is all we tend to see, and we have become (without meaning to) a part of the problem.  Also, we could be missing the Truth or a higher level solution which doesn’t present itself to us because our thinking is too low. Problems are only thoughts and they have an energetic charge just like solutions do. The higher and clearer our minds become, the faster and easier high-level ideas and solutions present themselves.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”. Albert Einstein

NEW SESSION OPTION

Over the past year, a number of people have asked me if I’d consider doing shorter phone sessions and so, starting September 1st, I am going to be offering, (in addition to the full one hour regular sessions) shorter, 30 minute appointment times. The fee will be $35 for the 1/2 hr. time (the regular session will stay at $60).

If this is something that interests you, you can go to the “My Work: Private Sessions with Me” tab,  read more about my background and what a session with me is like, and if you’d like to set up a time, email me and we’ll go from there!  The link to this page is: http://www.whitefeatherfarm.wordpress.com/about

There is a rational explaination for everything?

Jack picked up this piece of iron the other day and when he flipped it over, the words, HAPPY THOUGHT, were there!

The other morning, I noticed that my front right tire looked partially flat. I wasn’t sure if it was safe to drive, so I asked Jack what he thought, and he assured me that it wasn’t totally flat, but also said that I should get it filled up after my morning appointments. I drove to my office, feeling somewhat concerned, and knew I had to clear that before I started my work day. It’s not possible to be present for someone else if I am feeling off or concerned about myself and my life.

As I drove along I thought, “I need to let this go. Give me a little help”, and turned on the radio. I do this fairly frequently while driving, and almost always get a message in a song that helps.

I turned the radio on and the words, “Take it easy, take it easy….don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy…” were being sung into my car. I started laughing out loud and felt a flood of relief, so much so that I forgot to fill my tire. When I got home that evening Jack looked at my car and said, “Did Chris (our mechanic) fill your tire?”. I said, “No, I forgot to do it!” to which he replied, “You did not!”…the long and short of it was that my tire did not appear to be flat and I didn’t put air into it.

There might be a scientific, rational explaination for this, but I don’t care about that. One day, when I was much younger, I was riding in the car with someone and looked up at the sky to see a full rainbow around the sun. I felt a flood of happiness and sense that it was an answer for me. I made the mistake of pointing this out to the man in the car who instantly said, “That is called a ‘sun dog’ and it occurs when the atmostphere………..” He was being “reasonable and rational” but his need to scientifically classify this beautiful sight, sort of sucked the life out of it for me.

I know that a little thing like my tire, is just the tip of a huge and magnificently mysterious universe. The more I notice and appreciate the out-of the-ordinary things that happen, the more I can feel myself expanding as well.

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science“. Albert Einstein

intuition: remembering the gift

Bodhi, Noah and Eleanor checking out the new flowers

Many years ago, I was applying to graduate school and was trying to figure out which professors to ask for letters of recommendation. I kept feeling uneasy about one of them; a man who was very friendly and open around me, but something felt off. The night before I was going to ask him, I had a dream that I was listening in on a conversation that he was having with someone else, and the part that I heard was, “I don’t know what I’d do, but I’d let Mary drop.” I woke up knowing not to ask him. Later on, I heard something about him that confirmed my decision had been the right one.

I have learned, over the years, to trust my dreams. In my 20’s and 30’s, when I was much less aware of my inner voice of guidance, I relied heavily on my dream life to inform my decisions. Even though its “language” is highly symbolic, it points the way. It is one of the voices of the intuitive mind.

The conscious mind (rational mind) always wants concrete proof. It loves to argue. If it cannot be explained in logical terms, the conscious mind dismisses it. Our intuitive hunches and nudges, when followed are the things that lead us out of the confusion, out of the mental debates, into lives that flow and work well. Following the intuitive mind leads to a sense of inner peace; a knowing that we can trust ourselves, and at the same time, are not overly suspicious of others because we know who we are. The intuitive mind is the lowly, humble, almost unrecognized path that leads to brilliant flashes of insight, love, success, happiness, peace and our true heart’s desire.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein

Seeing with the heart

my father in 1957

I recently came across this photograph of my father. He was about to turn 32 years old,….the same age as my sons are now (they are  30 and 33). He looks like a little boy to me…under that serious hat and coat. When I take a moment to imagine what his life must have been, to try to see him in a different light, I only feel love for him.

I had originally written another post about my father. One that had to do with a recent interaction with my sons. I emailed it to them first (since it had something to do with them as well), and while neither said not to post it, they were both glad when I didn’t. For so many years, the only talk that I ever heard, even out of my own mouth, were words of criticism for the way my father lived, the money he spent, the places that he went (instead of being home), his lack of communication …

I was taught to do this, as most of us were; to judge everything and everyone that comes into our lives. But I know that this is not a natural state, and it is a heavy burden to carry. I still catch myself doing it every day (but the good thing is, I catch myself!). The Dalai Lama once said, “I do not judge the Universe” (and I think that must mean the people, places and events that are a part of this universe as well).

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” Albert Einstein