the happy trip

In 12 days, we will be leaving for Mexico. I've been doing a lot of planning; looking at the Mayan ruin sites, calculating driving distances, reading reviews of local restaurants and rental car companies and deciding how much money to have converted to pesos beforehand. I am a planner. I'm good at it, and I…

Imagining the life of our dreams

A few days ago, I noticed that I was feeling a bit off. Then I had a dream that I was back in school and my sons were babies and I couldn’t get to them…..back in struggle. This is an old dream for me and a signal to look at my thinking. It wasn’t hard…

Living in imagination instead of memory

A few weeks ago, my sons were talking about going on a fishing trip when Matt (my youngest) returned from Alaska. I said, almost hesitantly, "What would you think about me coming along?" I didn't think that they would really want this. I imagined them hemming and hawing and then saying something like, "Well, there…

Internal compass

I visited my mother yesterday who has been ill for a couple of weeks. When I first saw her, I felt alarmed. She  looked scared; her skin was grey and she had  huge dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't wanted me to visit but when I insisted, I think that she was relieved. Toward…

The call of life

In 1986 I drank my last alcoholic beverage. At the time, I didn't know that it would be my last. I was 30 years old and had gone to a Joan Armatrading concert with 2 friends. I was supposed to be the designated driver, but ended up drinking 2 beers and smoking a joint. I…

time to leave the past in the past, and see with new eyes

Jack loves taking back roads and finding the longest possible way to get from one place to another...he is a true meanderer. When I was first dating him, we went out for a ride one day and I really had to go to the bathroom, so I suggested that we go directly back to his…

Dissolving the fear in our minds

Luke is our big, long-haired German Shepherd. He is a goofy, loveable guy who makes the most of his life with 6 cats, none of whom want to play with him. He was born different...he didn't even look like the other puppies in the litter, and by the time he was 6 weeks old, he…

Watch your step

I hardly ever watch or listen to the news. I'm happy about this. A few days ago, my son Matt finished up filming for a T.V. show that he works on called, The Deadliest Catch. It's filmed in Alaska, and I guess they just had a storm that was the biggest one in 40 years.…

The friendly universe

I started going to the Manchester Thrift store 10 years ago. Oddly enough, I was somewhat intimidated by the volunteers...most were older women who lived in Manchester (a wealthy town) and wanted something to do with their free time. One woman in particular, Barbara, made me quite uncomfortable. I would try to be friendly with…

Fear not!

For about a week, the weather forecast has predicted that we are heading into a hot spell; 4 days of 90 degrees or more. I decided to clear my calendar and take a mini-vacation. I did not plan on going away,  just thought I'd spend a part of everyday on the river. The idea came…