Tag Archive | trusting God

allowing ourselves to float

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We would appreciate some of that cheese you’re eating

We listed our home for sale last week*. When the idea first came to me, it seemed frightening. The thought, “How can we sell our home when we don’t have another to move to?” screamed in my head, almost commanding me to back down. But it was followed by a deeper voice that said, “You are not selling your home today. You are listing it for sale. This is step 1”.

Jack was in agreement with listing our home, until we started to get phone calls and appointments for showings, and then he began to echo the sentiment of my earlier fear, so I just repeated what was given to me and said, “We did not sell our home, we listed it for sale. This was only our first step. If it isn’t right for us, nothing will happen, but if it is right, then step 2 will be given and we’ll take that then.”

This felt so right to me, but he didn’t even seem to take the concept in, and kept saying, “We can’t move without knowing where we are going!”

The spiritual teacher, Byron Katie, once said, “If you want fear and terror on purpose, get a future” and that was where Jack was. He was not staying in the moment, in the now, on step 1…if the steps could be numbered, he was probably on step 13, and it didn’t look good. In his vision we were pitiful, homeless, and broke, living from hand-to-mouth, begging for food for our animals and ourselves. I’m exaggerating here…but only a little.

After 3 days of utter agony, refusing to listen to anything that I offered, he talked with a friend who was able to bring him back to his center and the knowing that he only need stay in the moment and trust the larger part of himself. He needed to remember that he wouldn’t be led down a merry path, only to be dropped at the end.

 

Trust. Trust in what?

 

Over the past few months, I’ve been led to a new awareness of the Goodness that surrounds us all; the Goodness that we are an intricate, intimate part of, and so I have begun to trust in a new way that all really is well and that my part is to show up, be open, take action when it feels like I’m being asked to do so, and stay away from any fearful-mind stories. I’m not saying that those fearful thoughts don’t enter my consciousness, because they do, but they are different now. They don’t hold the same energy as before and I can see them for what they are…phantoms of old beliefs.

I want to live my life as if it is a grand adventure and I cannot do this if I need to plan out each step. But seriously, even if I, or you, or Jack, could plan out each step of our lives, would Life conform to that? When has that really ever happened, and is it even an adventure if by some chance “it” did turn out exactly as we planned?

And there is also the idea that anything that I (Mary Muncil, the little me) plan has to be teeny tiny compared to what the whole of me (divine mind combined with all of the other divine minds that make up ALL THAT IS) has in store.

This is the SELF that I trust.

Many years ago, I picked up the book, Illusions, by Richard Bach and was completely floored by the introduction, which I share with you below.

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. The current of the river swept silently over them all — young and old, rich and poor, good and evil — the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current was what each had learned from birth.

But one creature said at last, “I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.”

The other creatures laughed and said, “Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed against the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!”

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks.

Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, “See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the messiah, come to save us all!”

And the one carried in the current said, “I am no more messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure….”

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  • Introduction to the book, Illusions, by Richard Bach

 

*our home is listed on Zillow, 148 Dunbar Rd. Cambridge, NY 12816. There are lots of photographs. If you would like more information, feel free to email me at mmuncil@verizon.net.

Also, Jack and I are showing our work (44 pieces in total) from August 19th through Labor Day, at Gallery 668 in Battenville, NY. The opening is August 19th from 4-6 p.m. We will both be there as well as a number of other artists. For more information, feel free to email me at mmuncil@verizon.net

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preview of some of our work at 668 GALLERY

The Roadblock Prayer

For all of you who asked to see it…the new haircut!

I saw my mother the other day and she loved my new haircut, and said that she wanted to get a similar one. She then asked me to make an appointment for her with my hairstylist, Liz. While I can enthusiastically recommend Liz, I felt a little twinge of discomfort thinking about setting the appointment up. My mother has never liked her hair cut/styles and although I know that she has changed over the past year (and become a lot more positive in general), I had visions of her being unhappy and grumbling about it afterward. I called Liz anyway and left a message.

As I drove home, I thought, “If this is not in the highest and best for everyone, I ask it to be roadblocked.” This “prayer”* is one of the most helpful spiritual tools that I have ever used. Many years ago, I was working as a volunteer for the Norman Vincent Peale Prayer Line, and the director (at that time) was the one who first told me about it.

Sometimes we make commitments, or say yes to something, that we’re not totally comfortable doing, and aren’t sure if we should cancel, or go forward with it. This is the time when the roadblock prayer is so helpful. Basically it says, “I am turning this entire situation over to a Higher Intelligence. I cannot figure out the best course and feel confused when I try to. I am going to move forward with the plan (whatever it may be) but if it is not in the highest and best good, then I give You (Spirit/God/Universal Energy) full permission to roadblock it, and I will now drop the struggle from my mind.”

The wording is not important, but the intention is. I have to be ready to really let go of the mental debate and turn my current dilemma over to the part of me (the Divine Self) that always knows the best course to take, but that I might be, in the moment, having a hard time hearing because of my conflicted thoughts/emotions. After I’ve said this prayer, I drop the issue from my mind and refuse to entertain it again.

An hour after getting home from meeting with my mother, she called to say that she had changed her mind and was going to give her own hairdresser another try. It was so simple and easy and I didn’t have to say a word. There is so much more help available to us, spiritually/Universally, than we sometimes realize.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

* The “Roadblock Prayer” has been such a helpful tool in my life, and I’ve wanted to share it here for a while, but felt I couldn’t adequately explain it. If what I have written is at all confusing or you would like me to say a little bit more about it, please let me know, and I’ll be happy to talk more about it.

a “lucky” day, a daring adventure

a close-up picture of my locket

It is Friday the 13th today. Growing up, there was so much hype around the “bad things” that might happen on this day. I never believed them, but now I am so much more aware of how expectations create events and circumstances (both good and bad) and mass-expectation is even more powerful, so I make it my intention to expect very good things to happen on this day. Several years ago, I found a gold locket on-line that I loved the look of.  This side of the locket was not shown (maybe the seller feared that no one would want it if it said Friday the 13th) so it was quite a surprise when I read the inscription, “13th Birthday, Friday May 13, 1910” and inside was a photograph of a very sweet-faced girl.

When my son Matt went out on the Bering Sea last winter, I put a four-leaf clover inside along with a little note. I am not superstitious, but love “reminders” that there is a huge benevolent force at work in this Universe and that we are all connected, (and I love wearing something meaningful near my heart).

What if we expected this to be an auspicious day; a lucky day (even though I don’t believe in luck) and looked forward to it with a spirit of play and fun and adventure? Over the years, I’ve collected affirmation cards, quotes and sentences that felt meaningful to me at the time.  If you would like me to choose one for you,  just say so in a comment (of any length) and I will reply to you with the sentence that I pick (without looking of course!).

Maybe it will end up being a good meditation for you over the weekend, or will provide some guidance to a question that you have been pondering (the Spirit of God does move in mysterious ways!).

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing“. Helen Keller

Moving through the world with confidence

a beautiful world

Many years ago, I took a trip to Grenada to relax, but also to learn how to snorkel. The idea of seeing those beautiful, graceful and colorful fish felt so exotic and exciting. I hired a guide and liked him the moment that we met. He was young but had an inner confidence, and I knew that hiring him was the right thing to do.

He started to take me out into ocean, adjusting my mask and showing me how to breath through the snorkel, and I suddenly became rigid with fear. I felt like I was going to aspirate tons of sea water and drown. It was not logical. I was in panic mode and tried to get back to shore as fast as I could. He was talking to me, but I was too scared to listen. I actually started yelling, “I cannot do this! I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to do this anymore!” Instead of backing down, he took my hand and held onto me, not tightly, but firmly.

This beautiful young man just took my hand and said, “It’s ok. You can do it. I won’t let you go.”  And he held steady. He did not get worked up or thrown off-balance by my mini-melt-down. He taught me to snorkel and we floated around for a half hour or so, holding hands, watching the fish.

I felt such a sense of accomplishment as I got out of the water. I also saw how panic and fear wanted to shut me down and send me scrambling for “safety”. I was in my mid-thirties then and had so little idea of how to trust myself; to trust the part of me that is always connected to divine wisdom. I’ve learned a lot since that time about listening to, and going with, my inner guidance. I’ve made enough mistakes, where I’ve declared at the unfortunate conclusion,” Why didn’t I listen to myself? I could feel from the start that something was off here” Or, “I never trusted him or her from the beginning. I talked myself into doing that and all along something inside was telling me it wasn’t right.” And I had plenty of times when I did trust the person or situation (even though my head was trying to get me into fear and doubt) and it turned out really well.

If we are going to live open and big lives, we need to trust others, but our inner knowing is always the final authority. We can step out with confidence in the world if we have faith in our inner guidance; the part of us that is connected to all Wisdom…the part that knows we won’t be led down a path feeling great and in harmony, to be suddenly dumped in the middle.

“When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer“. Corrie Ten Boom

trusting yourself

A wink from the universe! photograph of York beach

Ever since Jack and I started talking about moving to Maine, we’ve been wanting to take a ride over and explore the coast for a day. We decided yesterday that we would go sometime in September. As I looked at my calendar, and realized that Monday the 12th would be a full moon (and Mondays are the days that we take off to be together), I thought why not next week? The full moon over the ocean sounded so wonderful. I love spur of the moment trips but they also make me feel a little uneasy. I’m not sure what that is, but a voice seems to say “You need to give this more thought”.

A few minutes after this conversation with Jack, I opened my emails and there was one from a colleague of his. It was entitled, “Le Mer Magnifique” and it is a series of photographs of the ocean. The second picture is of the full moon over the ocean. I felt goose bumps and made our reservations. Later in the afternoon, Jack was looking for something and came across these photographs of York Maine; the town that we were going to.

I love these  “winks from the Universe”. They are small little signs telling me to go ahead, trust my desires, move forward in the direction of my dreams. I’ll let you know how the trip goes!

Obey your soul, have perfect faith in yourself. Never think of yourself with doubt or distrust, or as one who makes mistakes“. Wallace D. Wattles

If you would like to see the slide show of the ocean pictures, you can see it on you tube as “Belle Indomptable” (or send me an email and I will forward it as an attachment to you. My email is mmuncil@verizon.net), also, there is a poem in French on the second photograph and I would love to know what it says!

Getting out of the driver’s seat

small river in the Adirondack Park

I wrote the post about my hair yesterday (thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the wonderful, supportive comments. I read them slowly this morning before I started to write and appreciate every one!) and then left for the entire day to take my mother up north to the town where she grew up, Paul Smiths NY; a town in the Adirondack park with only one street; “Easy Street”. That part of New York State is almost like entering another world. Everything seems stark somehow; beautiful, rough, certainly not easy.

We have taken this trip several times in my mother’s life. The last time was a few years ago when my mother and I were really not getting along. I returned home, feeling like I had been raked over the coals….maybe she felt that way too. It seemed we were fighting each other; me asking questions, trying to figure out some of my own history, and her wanting to make me see things her way. Yesterday, she wanted me to drive and she wanted to direct the day.  She just wanted to be “heard” as she recalled being a little girl, playing with friends, working, moving from house to house in this remote, wild place. Her parents didn’t own their own home until my mother was older. They were hard-working and poor.

We slowly made our way past the old homes, many of which were still standing. Some had been “remodeled” (very little “restoring” going on this far north) with vinyl siding and windows, some were left to slowly decay. I was content to be in a “supportive role”. I let her  be the director, set the pace, turn any place that she wanted, stop or not. I liked this feeling. It is relatively new for me to suspend my own curiosity, questions, and interests, for a day and to try to see the world from my mother’s perspective. I learned that she was almost going to name my sister Anne, Victoria. That she had wanted to go in the army, as a nurse, and my grandfather would not let her….little stories.

Yesterday was a good day for me, and for my mother. When she initially asked me to take her, I didn’t have to think about it, I just knew that it was the right timing. If I hadn’t felt this way, I would not have gone. I’ve finally learned that if I am not feeling good about “helping” someone, then it will not turn out well. I’ll exhaust myself and they won’t get a lot out of it either. There is a flow to life that pulls us in, and sustains us, when we trust and go with it.

 

What we are looking for, is also looking for us!

my new office building!

Since I moved into my office, it has leaked every time it rained. There was so much to like about the space that I overlooked that defect, but was always mildly bothered by it. Two other practitioners, that have offices next to mine, had some issues too (like no heat for days in the middle of January!).

Talk started about moving into a new space together. I really didn’t want to move again but was at least open to the idea. Last Friday I mentioned this to a friend and she said, “What about Bean Heads?” Bean Heads was a wonderful cafe that closed a few years ago and the building has been for sale ever since. Our community still misses it.

We called Bill (the owner of the building) to see if he would be interested in renting the offices upstairs and all met on Sunday. It was a unanimous YES! There are 3 offices and a great waiting area. As we walked through each office, I kept thinking that any one would be fine for me. When we came to the front (with the 4 great windows) my heart jumped. I loved it but didn’t say anything…it just seemed “greedy” to say, “By the way, I want the biggest office!’ As the 3 of us looked at the space, each had their “secret” favorite (no one wanting to say anything and step on the other’s toes) and each was different…the other two women hoped that I would want the larger front office with all of the windows!

When things work like this; so easy, smooth…almost effortless, I am reminded that all things work for good when we trust in something greater than ourselves, in a power that has only benevolent, expansive energy. I heard a wonderful expression once: “What you are looking for, is also looking for you!”

P.S. We are going to have an Open House in mid-July. I’ll post that here in case you are in the area!